Being a mom

I always wanted to be a mom. Even when I was in high school and I did not know what I wanted to do for sure with my life one thing always stuck, I wanted children. I got married when I was eighteen years old and got pregnant on my honeymoon, I know a lot of people thought I was to young to be starting a family but I knew I was ready and my husband and I were thrilled to be starting our family together.

I knew the birth of my child would bring about changes in my life. I knew I was going to have many sleepless nights, I knew that I would worry more then I ever had before and I knew that I was going to be taking care of someone that needed me for everything in their life. The things I did not know was that I would spend many nights in tears wondering why my friends did not seem to want to be around us anymore, that poison control would become a contact number in my phone book ( in the first year of my sons life he tried to eat a Christmas Cactus, perfume, deodorant and almost a whole bottle of teething tablets )and I did not know how badly it would hurt when people judged me for the way I chose to raise my child, how badly it would hurt when they looked down on me for one reason or another or how defensive I would get over it all. I wish I could go back and tell myself to let it slid but it hurt so badly at that time.

Now that my son is four years old and I have had two other children I have learned to let the judgments go. I have learned that no matter what I do someone somewhere will have a problem with the choices I have in my parenting style. The thing is now, I do not care. I know the choices my husband and I make are the best ones for my family and I have learned that I do not have to defend them to anyone.

Being a mother seems to open you up for the whole world to tell you what you are doing wrong and honestly I have noticed that other moms are really bad about doing it to each other. I have seem moms rip each other apart on some of the message boards I am on. They will seriously go head to head over what to feed kids for breakfast and I will be the first to admit that I have been pulled into this before but I am doing my best to not let it happen. I know first hand that moms need to stick together and be there for one another.

Being a mother is very hard, there are days that I want to throw a fit right along with my kids. There are days that they test me more then I can explain but it is always worth it. Yes they test me, yes they can be very naughty sometimes but they can also be the sweetest, most lovable kids in the world. I love it when they run up to me and give me a big hug and for no reason at all tell me they love me. I love snuggle time and I love the sleepy smiles.

Being a mother has changed me in every way. I have more patience, learned to live off very little sleep, have become more selfless and I know that my kids will keep on changing me. I look forward to the changes and times to come.